I went to the gym this morning. I had made my preparations, and had purchased a face shield and gloves last evening, as required by the rules of the gym. I woke up at 5:40 a.m., meditated for 15 minutes, brushed my teeth, wore my mask, face shield, and gloves, and walked over. The gym is housed in the club house across the street, perhaps 10 meters away from the entrance to our building. I had gone to the club house 2 days ago, when we moved into this apartment complex, and had been told about the rules and timings - the gym opens at 6.

I entered the clubhouse alongside a girl. She was wearing a red mask, and was carrying a small bag. She walked up to the gym ahead of me. I was surprised; I had assumed from her physique that she was more the yoga and aerobics type.

Once inside the gym, I was weary. I hadn’t worked out for many months in a gym, and I felt self conscious and tired. I wandered about from one mirror covered wall to another. From the corner of my eye, I saw that the girl who had entered the gym with me was in a corner, taking her time in taking out a water bottle from her bag, then wearing her face shield and gloves (which were also in her bag). I started to warm up, swinging my arms from one side to another, focusing on my breath. The girl walked up to a treadmill and started to walk at a slow pace.

After I had warmed up, I started to work out. I first lifted 10 kgs of weights, trying to get into a slow and steady rhythm. I shook my arms after two sets, and increased the weights. The girl had finished her warm up on the treadmill, and was now doing crunches a few feet behind me. I increased the weights I was lifting, adding another 20 kgs to the rod I was lifting. However, I hadn’t used this kind of equipment before, and as I lifted the weights, my left shoulder sagged and the one of the 10 kg weights slipped and fell off the rod on to the ground, and bounced with a clatter. I tried to be nonchalant about it, but keenly observed what the girl was doing. She continued to do her crunches - perhaps she hadn’t noticed what had happened, though the sound had been loud.

I picked up the weight, whistling casually, and replaced it on the rod. I changed my exercise to squat and lift (that exercises the hamstrings), pretending to have always wanted to do this. As I entered the 8th lift, I heard a voice behind me say, “You need to lock the weights with these keys”.

“Oh, yeah, thanks”, I said, glancing back and away quickly. The girl went back to her exercises. I picked up the keys and tried to slide them on to the rod, but they wouldn’t go. I looked at the keys from different sides, all the while acutely conscious of the girl paying attention to me. I finally figured out how to use the keys - it was a simple mechanism after all - and I slid the keys to lock the weights in place. I contemplated going over and thanking the girl - but would I appear more of an idiot?

So, I continued to exercise. After a while, I stopped and put the weights back in their place. I spent some time running on the treadmill. Then I left the gym, all the while thinking to myself, “I should have thanked her”. Some combination of ego/pride and self-consciousness causes us to live lesser lives, strangely embarassed and separated from our fell human beings. What if I were a child, not self conscious and without ego - I would have probably thanked her in a simple and natural way. Something makes us unnatural and foolish as we grow up…